Wow, It's been forever since my last post. Life has continued in it's usual fashion; Constantly busy. We survived the holidays with multiple parties and too much party food. It was so much fun this year watching the kids enjoy Christmas, and really get into it. I will try and post pictures of the last couple months in my next blog entry. One post at a time! Ryan had off from school for 3 weeks so it was awesome being able to spend time with him while he was home. Now unfortunately it is back to our "normal" busy schedule of him being either working or at school every night. Its life as we know it right now, and its the way it has to be for a while. It's crazy that he has less time at MCC now then what he has been there for to become a RN. That being said, he still has many more years of school ahead of him and it's the life we will know for a while. God has been so faithful through this entire journey. The way things are always so well laid out, it couldn't be anything but His guiding hand.

January 10, Evan turned four! I can't believe how old that little man is getting. He acts and talks so grown up these days. I love his love for learning new things, asking deep questions and his curiosity for life. He is such a joy and Ryan and I are so blessed to be his parents. He is so special and has such a pure heart.

Alivia is nearly potty trained. I say that, when really she is potty trained, I just haven't given up the pull ups yet at night. I don't remember the last time she had an accident. She is always dry at night and naps, I just haven't been able to let go of the pull ups yet. This is probably bad on my part, I just haven't wanted to deal with wet sheets in the middle of the night, just in case. I think we will go one more week for sure and see how she does. She is doing fabulous and I'm so so proud of her!

Baby #3 is definitely a rambunctious one, just like his/her siblings. I am measuring right on for 31 weeks, so the baby is right on track. For the most part, I have been feeling pretty good. I've been over the ickiness since about 16 weeks, which was a huge blessing. My job being a more physical one however, I am completely wiped out at the end of my shifts and usually find myself falling asleep by 8:00. Though I could complain about all the aches and pains of pregnancy, I feel incredibly blessed to be carrying this baby. I already feel and know what a blessing this child will be in our lives.

Speaking of Baby #3--I guess I'll share what's been on my heart lately. Though I wasn't pregnant very long with my third pregnancy, I lost my baby (or babies--I'll never know til I meet him/her--them someday) at about 6 1/2 weeks. We were told at our ultrasound there were two "somethings" I even have the picture still. Talk about shock--(you should have seen Ryan's face at that ultrasound-priceless!) I found out it could be twins on May 13 (It was Friday the 13--a day I don't think I'll ever forget!) My doctor called me that weekend to tell me he wanted me to do blood work. So I did--my first draw my HCG levels were in the 2000's--a normal range for being so early. Then I had blood work done again two days later and they dropped to the 900's. My doctor, (who I can't speak highly enough about) called me at 8:00 at night, just to give me my lab results. Unfortunately I was miscarrying and waiting for it to happen. I can't tell you the devastation one feels after learning you're pregnant, finding out it could be twins--then, finding out you lost them. I have to say it was one of the most devastating things I have ever gone through. I think only a mother who has lost a baby will truly understand the hurt that comes with the loss. I guess the reason for my story is because the last month I have been thinking so much about this lost baby, or babies. My due date was the 12th. It has come and gone, and though I have not forgotten, it seems life just went on as normal. I don't expect others to remember. I know I haven't remembered others due dates that have lost their babies, but now I know how it must have felt for them on that day that came and went with out any acknowledgment of that little life. I've always said I believed life began at conception, but now I can say it and truly believe it. Anyway, I guess this is my way of acknowledging this little life, or lives. I look forward to the day when I will get to meet him or her, or them. I'm almost confident this lost child, or children will be one of the very first waiting for me when I'm called Home some day.

One might wonder how I can feel sad about my miscarriage when I'm carrying another child. And don't get me wrong, I don't want my miscarriage to downplay my pregnancy with this baby at all. I love this child I am carrying and can't wait to meet him or her. This child was a gift and a reminder of God's hand in my life. A reminder that my timing isn't always God's timing, and that's ok. His timing is perfect and He never makes mistakes. I'm so excited to meet this little peanut I can hardly stand it. We are so blessed.

Well, I think I've given my two cents for the night--maybe a little more than needed. Hopefully I can get my act together and post some pictures of my cute little kids soon. Happy weekend everyone!