So this post isnt about anything to do with my family. Blogging is theraputic for me, so getting things off my chest and writing about them helps me sort things out in my head sometimes...

A good friend of mine is going through a really tough time right now. Her best friends husband (who is also a close friend to her) has been in the hospital now for over a week, I think actually going on two weeks. He has had problems for a while with his liver. So many things have been going wrong with his body. Last week though, it seemed as though he was starting to make a recovery. He was out of his coma, talking and it seemed as though he would be getting ready to come home, or at least go to a rehabilitation center until he was well enough to come home. Just in an instant something went wrong and he is now back on a ventilatior. His kidneys started to fail, and pretty much the doctors said they are doing what they can to keep him alive. She asked me something last week that I didnt know how to answer. I ask this question all the time of God. "why?" Why did God let him come so close to getting better, getting everyones hopes up that he would make it and be ok...then all of a sudden take that away? I had no answer for her. I wish I had some amazing Christian answer but I didnt. I tried finding scripture, but all I could find were verses about God being with us through the storms. There have been so many times in my life I have asked God WHY? Why did my parents go through what they did? Why did Ryan get layed off? Why did our neighbor loose their little girl? Why did our friend's 2 month old baby have to have a liver transplant? Why is Michael in the hospital fighting for his life? Why why why? The list goes on and on. I cant understand, and I never will until I meet Jesus face to face and can ask Him then.

I have been thinking about this for the last couple days, dwelling on this question like all Christians have in their lifetime. The only conclusion I have to come to is to look at the past, then look at the present. Seeing the path God has led us down, from tradgedy to where we are today. I look at my parents. Being on the edge of divorce so many years ago, to where they are today. God is so faithful. I look at the time when Ryan was layed off. The stress in our life, the worry. But God was there, He was faithful, and we have made it to where we are now. Not saying things are great, but they always work out! God is so faithful! I look at our friends who had to go through their son having a liver transplant at 2 months old...to where he is today, now a 2 1/2 year old little boy! God is so faithful! I cant understand Grace's death, or Michael fighting for his life, but I know God is STILL faithful. I may never be able to answer that question of why, but I am confident of His faithfulness through all of the heartache.

Sorry for going on and on, but I guess I needed to even remind myself today of this. Thanks for listening!